Fear. The heart thumps rabidly, breath heavy,
and footsteps stepping quietly on the metal floor.
INT. PEQUOD – NIGHT
OCTOBER 31, 2012
A SPOOKY HALLOWEEN NIGHT
Mulder stands, his back pressed against the
cold steel wall, flashlight in hand. He sweats despite the cold and
can see his breath as he breathes in and out calmly. He is dressed
as his hero, the original Captain Tight Pants, Han Solo from “Star
Wars”. Directly behind him, and gripping onto Mulder’s shoulders for
dear life is Alex Krycek, eyes bugged and tear stricken with fear.
He pants in fear, his hot breath breathing down Mulder’s neck – which
is why Mulder is sweating.
(quivering in fear)
No we’re not, you little weenie.
I’m not little.
Yeah, well, you sure are a weenie.
Why are you even scared?
Duh! We’re in the dark boat,
all alone – lost, might I remind you,
and it’s cold, and dark and scary, and-
-You’re a weenie.
Admit it Mulder, you’d be
in tears if you weren’t being
manly right now and you know it!
Mulder rolls his eyes and faces forward, down
the long, dark hallway. There’s nothing to be afraid of – or so he
attempts to convince himself – it’s just an old boat and Krycek’s
only scared because it’s Halloween night. Sheesh! We’ve lived here
for nearly six years and of all nights to be scared, he decides to
be a scaredy cat on Halloween. What a dork.
You’re a dork.
Actually, I’m a farmer.
And this is where we notice that Krycek’s Halloween
costume is that of a farmer, complete with red, blood-stained overalls
and hat made of hay.
You’re a dead farmer-
And he whacks Mulder over the head. Who looks
at him startled!
What? What did I say?
Don’t you EVER say I’m dead
on Halloween!! Don’t you know
this place is haunted with spirits
from the great beyond who feast off
the paranoid souls of the living?
You read about that too?
Mulder looks at him eagerly! Is it possible
his buddy ol’ pal has picked up a book on the ghosts that haunt this
Krycek on the other hand is panic-stricken –
he made that up to scare Mulder... oh how the tables have turned.
I made that up!
Mulder gives Krycek a sly grin and continues
forward down the dark, cold, damp and haunted hallway.
Re-re—remind me why we’re
down here because I don’t remember.
Because Cap’n says we can’t go down
towards the engine room and that’s
exactly where we’re going because that’s
where this ship is haunted the most.
I wanna go back to the party!
He sounds as if he’s crying.
Mulder turns to look at him and shines the flashlight
right in his eyes. However, Krycek doesn’t need to scrunch his face
up to shield the light, as his face is already scrunched and his eyes
are already shut because he’s crying.
Are you crying?
YES! Now take me back to the party
where there is music, dancing, and punch!
You’re such a weakling.
And Mulder shuts off the flashlight leaving
them in complete darkness. The bawling continues, as over black, we
Will you get off me!
NO! Save me!
From what? The piss in your pants?!
NO! (beat) Save me from
the soul-eating ghouls!
What? You think I have
a proton pack?
Yes, you’re Han Solo...
He didn’t have a proton
pack, he had a laser blaster, dummy.
Whatever! Save me.
(beat, quieter) I should
have been Chewie. He scares
every ghoul away.
No, you couldn’t be Chewie
because you’d be scared of yourself.
You make me sound like the
Gee, maybe you should have been
the Cowardly Lion, at least you’d...
Alex, the Cowardly Lion really wasn’t
a coward after all, he was a brave
soul inside himself. You... you are just
flat out cowardly. (beat) What would Marita think?
She’d cuddle me and protect
me from Halloweenie ghouls.
Actually, she’d probably
help everyone scare you more.
You’re pry right about that. Gee.
Probably! I hate it when
people say “pry” when they
Mulder’s grammatical outburst causes Krycek
to cling on tighter to Mulder as they make their way, blindly, in
the dark, down the hall.
Ahead of them, in the complete darkness, they
hear what could be a low moaning of a man. Then THUD! Something down
the dark and empty hallway has fallen. With his hand slightly shaking,
Mulder pushes the button to turn on the flashlight and points it toward
where the noise came from. Nothing is there, nothing at all. Mulder
looks at Krycek with wide eyes. Maybe tonight will be his lucky night
and he’ll actually get to have a run in with a ghostly specter...
INT. HANGAR DECK – CON’T
The hangar deck is hopping with Halloween celebration!
“Thriller” by Michael Jackson plays and Knowle is “center stage” knowing
all the dance moves. He is dressed in plaid pants who’s length rests
above his ankles and waist pulled up high above his naval. He wears
a white button up shirt with a matching plaid bowtie, and stereotypical
“nerd” black rimmed glasses – oh and don’t forget the pocket protector.
Nerd dress aside, he’s da bomb at the choreography of “Thriller”.
The next best are just behind him. Scully is
dressed in a classic 1920s get up: short black sleeveless dress, fishnet
tights, high heels, red boa, big black feather in her hair, and elbow
length black gloves.
Skinner is dressed up as Waldo (for the second
time) from “Where’s Waldo?” the book series – wearing the red and
white striped hat with the ball on top, the red and white striped
long sleeve shirt and blue jeans.
The song ends, and Knowle finishes with the
Moonwalk, and it’s awesome. Something Krycek would be jealous of,
and somewhere on the boat, he has just paused from whatever drama
he is dealing with to scowl. It’s a true X-File, how he knows when
something he’d scowl at is going on far away from where he is at the
The party continues on and our gang leaves the
dance floor to join Doggett and Monica at the punch bowl. Skinner
comes up with them, in shock that they weren’t out there doing the
dance with them.
I don’t get it, why did you
guys sit this one out?
We’re not allowed to.
Scully shakes her head, knowing exactly what
that’s about. Skinner however, is puzzled.
They’re waaaay too competitive.
Someone would get hurt. (beat) I
remember the last time... it was
1986 and John broke his leg...
Monica looks down ashamed.
... because Monica broke it.
How’d she break it?
She was weighty back then.
Scully shakes her head... hopefully his comment
won’t lead to a John/Monica fight. She’s not sure which is worse...
Mulder and Krycek’s “Yes/No” fights, or John and Monica’s “sibling-like”
fights. For a moment she ponders the idea of a game show-like competition
between Mulder/Krycek and Doggett/Reyes, and have the two arguing
teams duke it out for an ultimate prize. Perhaps she should pitch
the idea to Mulder and make it some kind of Super Buddy thing. Monica
speaks and this snaps Scully straight back to the conversation at
Yeah, well when John and I were
paired up as kids to do ballroom
dancing, he stepped on my toe and broke it.
I did not!
Yes you did! You stomped on it!
I was a kid!
Speaking of an almost “yes/no”
fight... where’s Mulder and Krycek?
Actually, it’s “Where’s Waldo”.
I mean where are Mulder and
Krycek? (beat; to Skinner) I made
that comment just to get you to
say “Where’s Waldo”, by the way.
Knowle smiles and Skinner nods his head, appreciating
any time he gets to mention “Where’s Waldo”.
I’ve asked the twins and they
haven’t seen them for about an
hour... which means they are up
to some kind of Halloween mischief.
Oh how bad can it be? Mulder’s
dressed as Han from “Star Wars”
so I’m sure those two are off
quoting the saga somewhere.
Or maybe they are getting on
a sugar high and hitting their low?
If that’s the case then we should
expect to find them passed out
someplace. Probably in some kind
of compromising position.
I don’t know... we’re on a ship and
there are plenty of places for them
to hide and scare each other. Right
now they are probably lost – somewhere
that is forbidden to them – and they’re
scared stupid about something they’ve
made up in their heads. (beat; more serious)
Or... I do recall seeing Mulder this
afternoon in the library... he was looking
through the paranormal section – I happened
to notice he was looking at a book about
haunted ships... particularly this ship...
He eyes everyone, holding his dramatic beat
to catch their attention. And he does...
What do you think they are up to?
Well, I’ve done a little research
on the history of this vessel...
specifically in the area of hauntings...
(trying to remain skeptical, but still scared)
This ship is haunted.
He delivers this line casually, as if there
is nothing to be afraid of with a hint of “well, didn’t you know?”.
They all listen.
(after a short beat)
Yeah, parts on this ship come from
an old Navy ship back in the 1950s.
Most of these old parts are used as
the very walls that surround us – and
you all know that metal conducts energy, right?
Energy is what the dead turn into when
they are on the other side. So we’re surrounded
by years of history and spirits... and every
Halloween night they like to emerge. (beat)
Ever used a flashlight on this ship?
Doggett nods his head very matter-of-factly.
Who doesn’t use a flashlight on the ship from time to time?
Ever notice that it’ll flicker even
after you’ve put in brand... new... batteries?
Doggett nods his head again. This has happened
to him before.
Spirits use the energy from the
batteries, that’s why that happened
to you, John.
If you’re trying to scare me, you’re not.
Knowle looks at her, sees the skeptic inside
Believe me Dana, I was once just as
skeptic as you are... until this morning.
What happened this morning?
It began just like any other morning.
I got up early to make Monica breakfast
in bed, showered, went to the restaurant...
and that’s when something strange happened...
INT. KNOWLE’S RESTAURANT – THAT MORNING
We see this almost dream-like, all the sounds
are silenced except Knowle’s footsteps in his restaurant. It is dark,
he hasn’t yet gotten all the lights on for the day. He casually walks
in, just like any other day and goes into the back kitchen.
I went into the back kitchen, just
as I do every morning, to start preparing
for the day... and I stopped suddenly when
I heard a loud clanking from the dark corner
near the freezer.
Knowle looks over towards the freezer slowly.
It is unusually dark and he stops upon hearing another clank.
The closer I got to the freezer,
the louder the clanking became. I
braced myself up against the wall,
my first thoughts were what Mulder
and Krycek were doing something, because they
had to be the one’s causing such a ruckus.
We see Knowle shaking his head in disapproval.
Only Mulder and Krycek would be trying to scare him on Halloween.
I was determined to scare them first,
so I peaked inside the freezer. It was
dark, but I could see that someone...
something was inside. So I got
out my flashlight...
We see Knowle pull out his little flashlight
a click it on. He shines it into the freezer, it flickers just a little
I shined it inside and to my
Knowle’s eyes widen. Mulder and Krycek are not
in there, but something else is! Something not human!
-I saw the figure of a man, but
it wasn’t a man. I could see through
him and he was just standing there...
But what horrified me was what I saw
next... blood was running down the
front of his body. His throat had been slit.
FADE BACK TO:
INT. HANGAR DECK – CON’T
They all stand around listening to the story.
Knowle looks at them, letting his last words linger in the air for
just a while longer.
What did you do?
I ran across the room and turned on
all the lights. Went back, opened the
freezer and no one was there... However,
there was something written on the wall.
I noticed it just as it was disappearing
into the cold... it said... “Never forget”.
You’re making that up.
Actually he isn’t.
Yeah right. Mumbo-jumbo like that
It sure does, you want to come
see for yourself?
Fine, we’ll go right now to my restaurant.
I wanna see too.
More than welcome too.
Doggett and Scully share a look, neither one
of them believes his tall tale. Something like that just doesn’t happen.
INT. KNOWLE’S CAFÉ – 6 MINUTES LATER
The gang walks in and Knowle leads them to the
back kitchen and over to the freezer. He opens the door and Doggett
and Scully are the first to walk in – those brave souls.
Well I don’t see anything.
And there’s no sign of a ghost.
You made it up.
You barely even looked around.
(beat) Allow me...
He goes over to the wall where he saw the writing
earlier that day and shines his flashlight ever so precisely so that
the words “Never Forget” appear.
Look here, you can see that the
words have been written into the
frost – never forget.
Everyone comes over to examine. Skinner nods
his head, impressed by this. Doggett and Scully continue to look doubtful.
Well it’s obvious that you wrote
that yourself. There’s no way a
spiritual being could have written
that from the great beyond. It just
Why do I have a feeling that if
Mulder and Krycek were here you’d
be getting lectured about how Patrick
Swayze in “Ghost” could move a penny.
Nice attempt at a scare Knowle, but
I’m not buying it.
Ok, I get it, you don’t want to believe.
But I researched what these words could
mean and found out that a pilot named
his plane “Never Forget”. What about that?
Contrived. You found the words
came in here and made the hoax.
Their conversation is interrupted by a loud
clanking sound coming from somewhere unseen inside the freezer.
They all look around, wondering what the hell
that is and where it is coming from.
Ha! What about that? That’s
the exact noise I heard this morning.
Somehow you rigged it. It’s
you Knowle, you have a way to
make yourself look innocent -
though I’m starting to believe
you’re insane. (beat) Let’s go
Dana, it’s late.
Doggett and Scully leave the restaurant. Knowle
looks around, someone has to believe him.
I believe you man. Just this
afternoon I was using the head
and heard a low moaning sound
that I believe said “never forget”.
Skinner shrugs and leaves the freezer. Knowle
looks to Monica.
You don’t think I’m crazy, right?
No. I know this ship is haunted.
She smiles and leaves the freezer.
INT. HALLWAY – A FEW MINUTES LATER
John and Dana are on their way home. It’s been
a fun-filled Halloween night, they had a great time at the Halloween
party, and the idea of ghost hunting with Skinner, Knowle and Monica
just doesn’t appeal to them. Dana’s high-heel shoes click loudly on
the metal floor.
I can’t wait to get home,
take off these shoes, and
take a nice, warm bubble bath.
He wraps his arms around her, from behind, and
kisses her cheek.
For fun, do you want to listen
to the Halloween sounds CD that
Mulder and Krycek gave us?
While taking a bubble bath?
A relaxing one at that?
(beat) I don’t think so.
They’d be so disappointed
if they found out we didn’t.
And how exactly would they
find out unless a short
red-head told them?
Dana looks down and laughs. She would be the
one to tattle-tale on herself and John.
I hope Katie had fun
trick-or-treating with dad.
I hope he took a lot of
pictures of her, dressed
up like a Navy sailor.
Sweetheart, you took plenty
of pictures of her before she
went off with dad.
I wish we could have been there
with her to trick-or-treat. She’s
our little baby, before we know
it she’ll come home and ask for
permission to go out on a date.
Not until she’s at least eight-teen.
Any age under eight-teen is
too young to date.
Dana stops walking to face John. He trails ahead
of her for a few more steps then turns around.
How old were you when
you started to date?
Heck, John, how old were
you when you lost your
virginity to Monica?
Those were different times.
This is our little girl
we’re talking about. Do
we really want her-
Shh. (beat) Do you hear that?
Dana puts her index finger over John’s lips
to quiet him. Quiet THUDS are heard ahead of them. They can both feel
the vibrations caused by each THUD. They both turn around at the same
time to look behind them.
One by one sections of the lights in the hallway
are shutting down with a loud, booming THUD.
The darkness creeps up on them like a snake
slithering through the grass towards its prey.
Dana feels something blow cold air on the back
of her neck, which brings goose bumps to crawl up both her arms. She
steps behind John and holds him, with one hand, at his waist.
The air around them swirls with cold. A cool
breeze that would be impossible to create so far below the main deck
of the Pequod... where no breeze has ever existed before...
They share a look, both of their eyes are wide
with fear. They both want to believe so badly that there’s nothing
aboard this ship that could haunt them, but what they are experiencing
now cannot be explained. Sure, someone could be pulling a practical
joke on them from the electrical room and shutting off the lights
of the hallway manually, but that doesn’t explain the swirl of cold
air that surrounds them.
They say that when there’s an
angry spirit the air goes cold.
(beat) Is it cold in here to you too?
Yes, much more than usual.
Is the air swirling around us?
I think so. (beat) Ok, ok,
Yes, it is. What does this mean?
Dana looks at him, she doesn’t have an answer
to offer him. You know, other than that Knowle may be right and there
are ghosts that haunt this ship on Halloween night.
Then they hear it.
The sound of footsteps is almost a whisper.
The footsteps are coming from deep in the darkness where the lights
have been shut off. John and Dana turn and look all around them. The
area where they are standing is the only area still lit with light.
Suddenly Mulder and Krycek run into them, running
out of the darkness.
We saw something!
I don’t know. It
Something grabbed us!
I don’t know!
You’re the X-Files agent!
It was dark! We didn’t see!
Then how do you know
that you saw something?
It grabbed us!
You had to have seen something.
We broke our flashlight!
We couldn’t see jack!
That’s stupid. Funny, but stupid.
They both start laughing like Beavis and Butthead.
They are having a very 1990s moment here. John and Dana share a look,
not amused. They wonder how long this annoying laughter will continue.
Hehehehe, hehehe, heh.
Hehehehehe, hehe, hehe, heh.
You’re stupid. Hehe. Hehehehe. Heh.
Hehe, hehe, heh. My butt rules!
Hey Butthead, you know I’d
like to kiss my ass! (beat)
Hehehehe. Hehe. Hehehehe. Heh.
Beavis, you’re one miserable
son of a bitch. (beat) Hehe. Heh.
Hey! Don’t say that about my
mommy! You can say that I’m
one miserable son of a chain smoker.
(beat) Hehehe. Hehehe. Hehehehehe. Heh.
Hehehehe. Hehehe. Heh. Heh. Heh.
Heh. Heh. Heh. Heh. Hehehe. Heh.
Kick ‘em in the nads, Beavis!
John’s eyes widen and he quickly covers his
private zone just incase Mulder is stupid enough to try to kick someone,
mainly him, in their nads.
Some people are dumb. Hehe. Heh.
I feel like an ass too. Beavis,
go out and get me an ass. Heh. Heh.
Heh. Heh. Okay, Would you like
some boobs to go with that?
Whoa. Heh. Heh. Hehehe. Heh.
When is someone going to come and put them out
of their (and our) misery? Perhaps it’s time for the ghost to make
an appearance and get them so scared that they’ll forget all about
imitating Beavis and Butthead.
As if on cue... a low moaning is heard off in
the darkness, from whence Mulder and Krycek came. This shuts them
And then a second later...
OH MY GOD! SAVE ME!
IT’S COMING BACK TO EAT US!
Ok, so they were quiet for a second. Sorry.
Boys SHUT UP!
YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND! YOU WEREN’T
THERE TO SEE IT RIP IT’S FACE OFF!
YOU WEREN’T THERE WHEN IT TRIED TO
EAT US! YOU WEREN’T THERE WHEN IT
TRIED TO MURDER US AND EAT OUR INNERDS!
YOU DIDN’T SEE THE GLOWING RED EYES
AND THE BLOOD STAINED FANGS AS IT
FLEW AT US LIKE A TURTLE!
How do you guys do that?
Talk at the exact same time
and say the exact same thing?
We don’t do that.
Mulder and Krycek turn to look at each other.
(to one another)
We don’t do that do we? No.
Then why do they say we do?
I don’t know, they’re dumb-pummies.
Scully cocks her eyebrow at “dumb-pummy” – she
doesn’t know what that means in their language, but it certainly doesn’t
Mulder and Krycek look back at Doggett and Scully
and smile – temporarily forgetting the moaning they heard.
How about you boys go to bed.
They both bug their eyes at this one!
ARE YOU KIDDING US?! It’s
Halloween night! We can’t
go to sleep! Not when there’s
hauntings, ghouls and goblins about!
ARE YOU NUTS?! DON’T BE SUCH A
And they both stick their tongues out at her.
She sighs and looks at John.
What do I do with them?
The air around them starts to chill and swirl
Will someone please stop blowing me!
He giggles in a perverted way and Mulder hits
him hard across the face.
Did you just bitch slap me?
Geez... I’m sorry.
Mulder and Krycek stand in the light with Doggett
and Scully, who aren’t sure what to think of this strange current
of cold air swirling around them.
Mulder looks pensive.
Say... isn’t it believed that when
a spirit is angry that the air gets
kind of chilly... Kind of like... now...
It’s kind of like... death...
Everyone – including John and Dana – are looking
around the darkness that surrounds them. We narrow in on John’s eyes
as he searches the darkness for an explanation. None is forthcoming.
The cold air swirls around them faster and faster and faster and then:
Doggett screams as they yell at him and grab
onto his shirt and shake him. He stops screaming when he realizes
it is them. Mulder and Krycek laugh and Scully taps her foot on the
floor, hands at her hips and gives them a disapproving look.
You SCARDEY CAT! WEENIE!
LOW DOWN DIRT EATING –
They shut up. Her voice echoes down the empty
hallway (enough... enough... enough). The boys aim their gazes up
at the ceiling, the echoing is eerie and spooky.
Enough Halloween fun for you two!
We’re going to find Knowle, see if
he can’t find the breaker for this
hallway and put the power back on.
(beat; pissed) Halloween is OVER!
Her voice echoes once again down the hallway
(over... over... over...). Mulder and Krycek look up at the ceiling
again. A very spooky, and eerie Halloween indeed.
(trying to scare them)
I think he’s in the brig...
(beat; gets scared) Oh gawd...
why’d I say that...
She turns on a little flashlight and aims it
down the dark, long, empty hallway. She grabs Mulder’s arm and drags
him out of the light... she knows that grabbing him will also get
Krycek to come, since Krycek is grabbing onto Mulder. Doggett quickly
follows, not wanting to be left alone in the darkness.
TIME CUT TO:
INT. HALLWAY NEAR THE BRIG
Scully, Mulder, Krycek and Doggett are walking
towards the brig. Scully and Doggett are irritated as Mulder and Krycek
There she was just a walkin’
next to me singing:
She looked good! She looked fine!
And I nearly lost my mind!
Before I knew it she was walkin’
next to me singin’ Doo-wa-diddy-
A growl from behind them stops their singing
and they stop walking, eyes wide.
Scully turns, relieved that they have stopped
How about you boys actually shut-
Her eyes widen when she hears the low growl
of what can only be described as an animal... or something else...
Mulder, Krycek, and Scully look on as Doggett
looks at them... his back is to the growling sounds. His eyes bug,
not wanting to know what is behind them. And then... from the darkness
Scully, Mulder and Krycek see glowing, yellow-orange eyes...
Doggett starts to turn as the thing emerges
from the darkness. It’s horrific figure terrifies all that see it!!
Doggett screams at the top of his lungs as Scully screams dramatically:
(horror film over dramatic)
I THOUGHT KNOWLE JUST SAW A GHOST!!!!
(in classic horror movie style)
Doggett faints, falling forward onto his face,
nearer to the creature than anyone would want him to be!
Every man for himself!
The creature from the darkness growls louder,
exposing fangs and Scully lets out a dramatic scream!
Mulder, fearing for the safety of his buddy,
grabs Doggett in a fireman’s hold and he and Scully take off running,
catching up to Krycek.
They run their fastest! Hearing the thudding
footsteps of the monster behind them... catching up with each horrific
step. The thudding of the paw shakes the ground as it runs faster
and faster and faster...
Mulder looks back at Scully and sees the monster
gaining on her!
Scully! Get those little
Any other day, Scully would kill him for the
“little legs” comment, but she heeds his warning and pushes it until
she surpasses Mulder.
Don’t leave me! I’ll drop John!
Scully slows her pace so she and Mulder run
head to head down the hallway!
They round the corner and find themselves running
head to head with Knowle, Monica and Skinner.
Mulder and Knowle share a look as if saying
“what are you running from?”
You guys saw it too?
Monster? No! The ghost!
Appeared to us as a mist then
took human form!
We’ve got bigger fish to fry!
We’re being chased by a monster
with glowing eyes and fangs!
That’s impossible! Monster’s don’t-
Knowle is cut off by the roaring growl of the
monster as it leaps into the hallway behind them! Knowle turns his
head as he runs and sees it, as does Monica and Skinner.
All five of them haul ass out of the hallway
and find themselves running towards the end of the boat, known as
the “poop deck”.
EXT. POOP DECK – CON’T
Krycek stands at the edge of the rail in a diver’s
position. He’s ready to haul ass off the boat by jumping into the
freezing cold water! What a nimwit. He stands on the edge, knees bent
and arms above his head. He hears the doors fly open and FREAKS OUT!
He springs off the end of the boat, flying through
the air with his arms and legs out stretched, as if he were a flying
Mulder’s eyes bug as he sees his little buddy
flying down to the cold water below! He drops Doggett to the ground,
waking him up.
ALEX NO!! YOU’RE GOING TO BELLY FLOP!
AND HOW DO YOU KNOW THE MONSTER DIDN’T
COME FROM THE OCEAN?!
In mid-air, Krycek manages to look back at him,
a look of “oh shit” on his face. Everyone looks over and winces as
Krycek hits the water with a hard SPLAT!
BAM! The monster leaps onto the poop deck. Everyone
turns and screams! Scully goes for a gun in the holster she thinks
she’s wearing, then remembers, she doesn’t have a gun, she’s not wearing
a holster and she’s not in the FBI working on The X-Files anymore!
The monster, a hideous thing that somewhat resembles
a fungus and a turtle with vampire bat wings and fangs, growls at
On the ground, Doggett rubs his eyes and squeezes
them open and shut a few times.
POV – JOHN DOGGETT
This terrifying monster runs towards everyone,
who are cuddling together, screaming. As the monster runs at them,
he sees the little doggy legs of Buddy, his and Dana’s pet beagle.
Doggett stands up and runs towards the “monster”.
The group of terrified weenies see this and
think that John is trying to be the hero of Halloween.
DOGGETT! NO! IT’LL EAT YOU!
Doggett grabs onto the “monster” and Buddy lets
out a little yelp and a sweet little doggy bark, woof, woof!
The group of terrified weenies all SCREAM LOUDLY,
thinking that this is the end of John Doggett. Their eyes are shut
tightly. Then Dana opens only one eye to check to see if this monster
was in fact the demise of her husband. What she sees is not terrifying
at all. Buddy is in John’s arms, licking his master’s face with love.
Buddy’s body is covered in a tie-dyed green, grey, and red bed sheet.
Holes have been cut in the sheet where Buddy’s eyes and mouth are.
She breaks away from the terrified group of
weenies (or as we like to call them the TGWs).
Jenkies, Mulder! Your Halloween
monster wasn’t a monster at all.
The TGWs, slowly open their eyes and see that
John is holding the monster in his arms and it’s licking him. They
watch as Scully goes to the “monster” and pulls the bed sheet off.
Buddy looks at John then to Dana and then over at the TGWs and let’s
out a happy, excited doggy bark, and looks like he’s smiling.
If it weren’t for you meddling
kids, Buddy might have gotten
away with this.
Knowle rubs the back of his neck and coughs
uncomfortably. He can’t believe that he got so caught up in Halloween
spooks that he was scared of a little dog.
Hey, Bud’, I knew it was
you all along.
Knowle walks past John, Dana and Buddy and rubs
Buddy on the top of his head. Monica smiles at John and Dana.
You two put your dog up to this?
She shakes her head disapprovingly at them and
catches up with Knowle.
Actually, we didn’t.
I believe you, Scully.
I bet the ghost of the
Pequod put him up to it.
Dogs can see spirits you know.
Mulder hugs Scully. Skinner comes over and pats
the dog on the head. He can’t believe he was this scared of a dog...
but then again, he’s never been fond of things that go bump in the
night, or the dark for that matter.
From the water the girly screams of Alex can
What about my little buddy? He’s
scared stupid! We should fish him out.
I’ve got a better plan...
He picks up the sheet and puts it over Buddy
again. Scully gives him a disapproving look.
Walter... are you going to scare him?
He could drown. You know he’s not the
strongest of swimmers.
It’ll be funny.
It sure will. And then we can convince
him that Buddy is a real monster that
spawned from his Daffy Duck sock!
Everyone looks at him with confusion. Daffy
Mulder holds up the sock.
Yeah, this is Alex’s sock. I
found it down below and thought
the monster ate Buddy since I saw
him chewing on it earlier today.
Stupid me should have guessed that
Buddy was the real monster.
Mulder hands Buddy the sock and the dog takes
it in his mouth.
Now, Doggett, put the dog down
and Buddy, you play dead. I hear
Alex making his way up.
Doggett sets his dog down and Buddy plays dead.
Suddenly, Krycek appears, having climbed up
the side of the boat – how he did this, we’ll never know.
GEEZ! Won’t even help a fellow
out of the FRICKIN’ COLD WATER!
(notices the dead “monster”)
Oh good, you killed it!
And we found something rather
interesting that can explain this
monsters existence... and it has to
do with you Alex.
It sure does!
Mulder goes over to Buddy and takes the Daffy
You see there is a myth
I read about earlier today in the
paranormal section of the library
that made mention of a monster centuries
ago that grew from foot fungus.
Mulder holds up the Daffy Duck sock.
Hey! I’ve been looking for that!
He goes up to Mulder and tries to grab the sock,
but Mulder pulls it away. Krycek glares at him.
Gimme back my Daffy Duck sock!
NO! The monster grew from the sock!
It did not!
It did to! (beat) This mythical monster
comes out only on Halloween! It was always
said it died at the stroke of midnight...
Knowle checks his watch, he’ll play along with
this joke on Krycek.
It’s four past midnight now...
It still doesn’t explain my sock!
But it does! Remember when we were
down in the engine room and weren’t
supposed to? (Krycek nods) Well, you
lost your sock... your Daffy Duck sock.
HOLY CHEESES MULDER! Does
this mean my feet are the
spawn of a monster!?
No, no... The Monster didn’t
create your feet... your feet
created the Monster... I think
you need to up your personal hygiene.
I can’t believe I live with a
boy who has fungus that spawns monsters.
I do not.
It’s no wonder Marita won’t
do the horizontal shimmy with
you! She doesn’t want Monster Babies!
We do it!
You do not!
I do to!
And SUDDENLY! Buddy leaps from the ground and
“attacks” Krycek, who screams really high pitched! Then Buddy barks
and Krycek realizes it was a sheet over John and Dana’s dog.
Krycek looks up and scowls at John and Dana.
They HAVE to be behind this!
It wasn’t us!
Well it had to be someone!
My gut tells me that Katie
and dad put him up to this.
My dad would totally pull
something like this. But
we’ll never know who since
Bud’ can’t tell us himself.
It has to be the ghost.
Mulder looks down at Buddy and ponders who or
what could have put the dog up to this...
SLOW FADE IN:
INT. HALLWAY OF THE PEQUOD – 4 A.M.
The hallway is dark and all is quiet. Everyone
is fast asleep. The boat silently creeks in the night like an air
tight drum. And from the darkness of the night, a mist like figure
emerges and walks ghostly down the empty hallways... carrying on his
duties from long ago. On the pilot jacket of the figure is a patch
with the words “Never Forget”.
Off this we...
a happy and safe Halloween!
Scare the crap out of each other!