"The Almost Perfect Night"
Written by: Cassie
Date: 7 November 2000
Air Date: 19 February 2001
Series: FRVS - Episode #041
Spoilers: Past episodes of FRVS may be spoiled.
Feedback: E-mail us at firstname.lastname@example.org (please include the episode name in the subject) Thank you.
Archiving: "Fox & Rat" Virtual Series
Disclaimer: "The X-Files" and its characters belong to 20th Century FOX Broadcasting. If you recognize it, it's not our own creation. Original characters belong to Cassie and Kristi (FRVS).
Author's Note: The personalities of the characters
within the world of "Fox & Rat" are not those you know
from "The X-Files" television series. We have warped them
and given them a common past, immature behavior and a sense of humor.
Any horrid behavior should not be mimicked in your every day life.
day in the office and a night out for Scully and Doggett at an amusement
INT. KRYCEK/DOGGETT'S OFFICE - DAY
Mulder and Krycek are playing "Super Spies".
They are dodging around the office using their hands as "guns". They
are making shooting noises with their mouths. Jumping up onto his
desk, Krycek aims his hand at Mulder and "shoots"... "POW! POW!"
The elevator opens and John Doggett exits. He
is carrying some file folders. He passes Agents Spender and Lawson
on their way to the elevator... as usual they look giddy and suspicious.
Good morning, Agents.
Good morning, Agent Doggett.
Spender and Lawson hurry themselves into
the elevator. As Doggett continues down the hallway, he stops in Mulder
and Scully's office. Scully is sitting at the desk.
INT. MULDER/SCULLY'S OFFICE
Scully looks up from the paperwork she's going
through. As she feels Doggett's presence in the doorway:
May I help you?
Doggett takes a few steps into the office,
he holds a folder out to Scully.
The Assistant Director gave me
this file to give to you. He
said that it's highly confidential.
Doggett lays the file folder down on the
desk, next to Scully's laptop, which is logged onto "Goofy
Spooky Message Board" at Mulder and Alex's website. Scully quickly
opens the file to see it's contents, she closes it.
Thank you, John.
Suddenly they hear yelps coming from Krycek
and Mulder, from across the hallway, in Krycek and Doggett's office.
Doggett gives Scully a look.
(off his look)
They do things.
Scully stands up to follow Doggett to his
office (in case he needs backup). Doggett opens the door to reveal
Krycek and Mulder on the floor. Krycek has got Mulder in a head lock,
and Mulder is holding his index finger to Krycek's head, exclaiming
"BOOM! BOOM!" as he twitches his thumb as a "gun trigger". They stop
playing once they realize Doggett and Scully are watching. Mulder
and Krycek get up off the floor and dust off their clothes.
Scully stands there, her arms crossed, glaring
at Mulder. Doggett stands there, not understanding why two professional
FBI agents would be playing around on the job.
He started it! He pointed
his gun (beat) I mean finger
at me first!
Nuh uhh... you wanted to play
James Bond - you said I had to
be the bad guy, and I wanted to
be Bond, but no-ooooo... you disagreed.
Yeah, but when I made it obvious
I was Bond -
-Since when is stating "Bond, James
Bond" mean you are Bond?
As I was saying, when I made it
obvious I was Bond, you wanted
to be the woman -
- I don't need to hear
anymore. Mulder we have work to do.
Doggett carefully passes Krycek, who shrugs
his shoulders. Scully and Mulder leave their office. Doggett sits
down at his desk.
So how long did you work with
Agents Mulder and Scully?
Well, I've known them for about
seven years now, but I worked with
them for the past year until you were
assigned as my partner.
Doggett nods his head.
So you know 'em well?
Better than they know
themselves at times.
There's a long uncomfortable beat... Doggett
seems to be reading through a file.
Is uh... Is Agent Scully seeing anyone?
Krycek shakes his head "no".
Not that I'm aware of, why?
Doggett looks up when asked that question.
You're thinkin' of asking her out...
There is a knock on the door, saves Doggett
The door opens and Spender pokes his head
Agent Krycek, I have to ask you something.
Come on in.
Spender comes in and closes the door behind
him. He sits down next to Krycek, and speaks in a hushed voice. Doggett
continues to work ... shuffling through messed up files laying all
over his desk that were messed up while Mulder and Krycek were playing.
He sits down and tries not to listen into the conversation Spender
and Krycek are having.
Kersh just caught Bindi and I
in the photocopy room... ya know
(embarrassed) fooling around. We
have to meet with him in 30 minutes
do discuss disciplinary action. What
should we say to get out of trouble?
Well point out what happened with
Scully and Skinner a few months back
that's a more serious problem.
Doggett looks up from his paperwork, he
heard that comment.
Ah... it's nothing (to Spender)
ignore that last comment. Umm...
well the worst thing that could happen
is they give you "beach time", and break
your partnership, transfer you -
- I don't want that to happen.
Just tell Kersh that you'll behave
properly and save your (coughs)
extracurricular activities for outside
the office... and be nice and respectful.
Shouldn't get more than a week suspension.
Are you suggesting I brown nose
the Deputy Director?
Krycek snorts back a laugh.
(trying not to laugh)
"Brown nose"... when I hear that
expression, I see someone on their
knees, shoving their nose in someone's a-
- Sick! Just sick, Krycek!
Krycek holds back more laughter and leans
against the wall, very cool. Spender looks at him, appauled.
(looking up from paperwork)
Krycek. I didn't need to know that.
SUDDENLY, Mulder bursts through the door
and slams it shut, he leans back on it to keep it shut. He is in a
(out of breath, panting)
And with that, Mulder is knocked down as
the door flies open, Bindi stands above Mulder, her hands on her hips.
She is wet and mad. Mulder cowers on the floor and occasionally glances
at Krycek, Spender and Doggett for help.
Fox! You are the rudest, most
immature idiot I've ever met! Just
because I'm wearing a white blouse
does not mean you have the right to
water balloon me while I'm walking
down the hall.
I thought you were Scully.
Right. Gee. Let's think about
this for a minute (beat) Oh! I see!
In your mind, Scully has long dark
brown hair, and works in my office, right?
Spender stands up and walks over to Bindi,
and places his hand on her shoulder. Doggett watches with disbelief
at what is going on.
Bindi, let's go. You're
better than this.
As Spender leads Bindi out of the office,
Bindi turns around and sticks her tongue out at Mulder, Spender turns
around and mouths off "Thanks man" to Mulder, and winks.
Mulder stands up and tries to act like that
You can be so stupid Mulder.
Mulder grins an evil grin.
Let me get this straight. To you,
the FBI is like a playground and
neither one of you are mature enough
to actually do your job while -
- That's why we are in the basement.
Doggett shakes his head at them and stands
up, he leaves the room.
Bindi's hot. How do you think
Spender ever hooked up with her?
Who knows... maybe he brainwashed
her when they were at Quantico.
INT - MULDER/KRYCEK/SCULLY'S APT. - EVENING
Mulder and Krycek are out for the evening. Scully
is comfortably reading a book, sitting on the couch. Soft classical
music is playing in the B.G. The phone rings, Scully picks up the
cordless next to her and answers.
Hi, it's John.
Is everything ok?
She looks over at the clock, it reads 4:30pm
... not late enough for Mulder and Krycek to have gotten into too
Everything is fine. I was just
wondering, have you ever gone to
an amusement park?
Yeah... when I was little, why?
Well, I saw in the newspaper
there's one in town, and I was
hopin' you'd like to go with me tonight.
Scully gets a cute look on her face.
Sure. I'd love to, John.
How about I pick you up around
six, if that's a good time for you.
See you then.
She hangs up the phone and goes to get
changed, old sweatpants and an old t-shirt of Mulder's isn't what
she wants to be wearing in front of Doggett... not just yet at least.
TIME CUT TO:
AMUSEMENT PARK - 8:33 PM
Scully and Doggett are walking, surrounded by
game booths. Scully is carrying a big white teddy bear with a red
bow tied around it's neck. Trying to impress Doggett, she chose to
wear rather fitting jeans and an untucked white blouse. Doggett, with
the same thing on his mind, is wearing jeans and a gray t-shirt, that
shows off his muscular arms well.
They both look kind of nervous together outside
of the office.
(breaking the silence)
When I was young, my parents would
drive me to Savannah to visit my
aunt and uncle... they'd always take
me to the Savannah Boardwalk (beat) I
never got to go to an actual amusement park
the boardwalk was the closest thing to it.
As a 7 year old boy, a huge water
fountain to run through on a hot
summer day was a whole helluva lot a fun.
Scully smiles at Doggett, he smiles back.
There's a beat of silence.
So... you've never ridden on
Not even once.
Off Scully's sly, flirtatious smile.
Doggett and Scully in the front of a roller
coaster. It is slowly approaching the top of the first drop. Scully
looks like she's having the time of her life, on the other side of
her, Doggett looks nervous.
You know... w-why do
they do this so slow?
So you have time to think
about changing your mind...
I think they succeeded.
Then the front end reaches the top and
slowly, then fast proceeds to plunge to the ground. Scully let's go
and throws her arms in the air. Doggett seems to become paralyzed
as he screams his head off, not blinking his eyes, not even once.
SOMEWHERE ELSE - AMUSEMENT PARK - 9:07pm
Mulder and Krycek are sneaking around behind
the game booths, they are dressed completely in black. They are crouched
down peeking through a curtain.
So this ghost, sabotages amusement
parks because as a child, he was
forced to say "hello" to a clown?
Mulder shakes his head and cocks his gun
and moves out.
(re: cocking gun)
What good will that do?
He cocks his gun (you never know) and follows
EXT - ROLLERCOASTER LOADING AREA
Scully stands up, getting out of the roller
coaster, she helps Doggett out of his seat, he is seemingly in shock.
Scully wraps his arm over her shoulder, gets the teddy bear from an
employee and leads Doggett away and to a bench close by.
Remind me... never to
ride one of those again.
I'm so sorry! I honestly thought
you were joking when you said you
had never been on one.
Doggett just kind of sits there, an odd
expression on his face, his hair a mess. Scully looks at him, and
smiles. She runs her hand through his hair, fixing it from it's wind-blown
SUDDENLY, Mulder and Krycek run by, screaming
their heads off, arms flying every which way in the air. They get
odd looks from Scully and Doggett.
(coming out of shock state)
Was that who I think it was?
Some music in the B.G. gets louder, it's
She takes Doggett's hand and goes off to
find where the music is coming from.
Bon Jovi's "Thank You For Loving Me" is playing.
It's completely dark, Krycek has his face to a floorboard, he's looking
at something, a breeze moves a rather large curtain.
Let me see.
No. I got here first.
A transparent figure moves behind them.
It. Just. Got. Really. Cold.
They get really, really scared. Krycek
removes his face from the floor and he and Mulder carefully, slowly,
POV - MULDER & KRYCEK
A Scary Ghost face, that screams at them. Mulder
and Krycek faint backwards, onto a dancefloor - taking the large curtain
down with them. They land at the feet of Scully and Doggett, in the
middle of their slow dance, they stop and look down at Mulder and
Krycek, then look at each other.
TIME CUT TO:
INT - APT. HALLWAY - 11:12pm
The elevator opens and Scully and Doggett exit,
their backs to us. They are dragging the passed out Mulder ad Krycek
back to the apartment.
Once inside the apartment, and after putting
Mulder and Krycek in their bedroom, Doggett heads toward the door.
(a bit annoyed, but not really)
I should probably get going now, Dana.
Hey, I'm sorry about those two.
I had no idea they'd even be there.
Doggett turns to face Scully.
Mind if I call you sometime?
Maybe we can go out where
we can be alone...
(lowered voice, sexy)
And with that, he gives her a look any
woman would die for and enters the hallway, followed by Scully, she
watches him head toward the elevator.
Scully goes back into the apartment and
quietly shuts the door behind her, and leans up against it and sighs
a happy sigh.
(O.S. , pathetic)
Scully rolls her eyes and goes to check
up on the boys, what an ending for an almost perfect night.