"Fox & Rat" Virtual Series - Season Three

3x09 "The Almost Perfect Night"Title: "The Almost Perfect Night"
Written by: Cassie
Date: 7 November 2000
Air Date: 19 February 2001
Rating: PG
Series: FRVS - Episode #041
Spoilers: Past episodes of FRVS may be spoiled.
Feedback: E-mail us at foxandratvs@gmail.com (please include the episode name in the subject) Thank you.
Archiving: "Fox & Rat" Virtual Series only!
Disclaimer: "The X-Files" and its characters belong to 20th Century FOX Broadcasting. If you recognize it, it's not our own creation. Original characters belong to Cassie and Kristi (FRVS).
Author's Note: The personalities of the characters within the world of "Fox & Rat" are not those you know from "The X-Files" television series. We have warped them and given them a common past, immature behavior and a sense of humor. Any horrid behavior should not be mimicked in your every day life.

Summary: A day in the office and a night out for Scully and Doggett at an amusement park.


FADE IN:

INT. KRYCEK/DOGGETT'S OFFICE - DAY

Mulder and Krycek are playing "Super Spies". They are dodging around the office using their hands as "guns". They are making shooting noises with their mouths. Jumping up onto his desk, Krycek aims his hand at Mulder and "shoots"... "POW! POW!"

BASEMENT HALLWAY

The elevator opens and John Doggett exits. He is carrying some file folders. He passes Agents Spender and Lawson on their way to the elevator... as usual they look giddy and suspicious.

DOGGETT
Good morning, Agents.

SPENDER
(rushed)
Good morning, Agent Doggett.

Spender and Lawson hurry themselves into the elevator. As Doggett continues down the hallway, he stops in Mulder and Scully's office. Scully is sitting at the desk.

INT. MULDER/SCULLY'S OFFICE

Scully looks up from the paperwork she's going through. As she feels Doggett's presence in the doorway:

SCULLY
(looking up)
May I help you?

Doggett takes a few steps into the office, he holds a folder out to Scully.

DOGGETT
The Assistant Director gave me
this file to give to you. He
said that it's highly confidential.

Doggett lays the file folder down on the desk, next to Scully's laptop, which is logged onto "Goofy Spooky Message Board" at Mulder and Alex's website. Scully quickly opens the file to see it's contents, she closes it.

SCULLY
Thank you, John.

Suddenly they hear yelps coming from Krycek and Mulder, from across the hallway, in Krycek and Doggett's office. Doggett gives Scully a look.

SCULLY
(off his look)
They do things.

Scully stands up to follow Doggett to his office (in case he needs backup). Doggett opens the door to reveal Krycek and Mulder on the floor. Krycek has got Mulder in a head lock, and Mulder is holding his index finger to Krycek's head, exclaiming "BOOM! BOOM!" as he twitches his thumb as a "gun trigger". They stop playing once they realize Doggett and Scully are watching. Mulder and Krycek get up off the floor and dust off their clothes.

Scully stands there, her arms crossed, glaring at Mulder. Doggett stands there, not understanding why two professional FBI agents would be playing around on the job.

DOGGETT
(clears throat)
Agents...

KRYCEK
He started it! He pointed
his gun (beat) I mean finger
at me first!

MULDER
Nuh uhh... you wanted to play
James Bond - you said I had to
be the bad guy, and I wanted to
be Bond, but no-ooooo... you disagreed.

KRYCEK
Yeah, but when I made it obvious
I was Bond -

MULDER
-Since when is stating "Bond, James
Bond" mean you are Bond?

KRYCEK
As I was saying, when I made it
obvious I was Bond, you wanted
to be the woman -

SCULLY
- I don't need to hear
anymore. Mulder we have work to do.

Doggett carefully passes Krycek, who shrugs his shoulders. Scully and Mulder leave their office. Doggett sits down at his desk.

DOGGETT
So how long did you work with
Agents Mulder and Scully?

KRYCEK
Well, I've known them for about
seven years now, but I worked with
them for the past year until you were
assigned as my partner.

Doggett nods his head.

DOGGETT
So you know 'em well?

KRYCEK
Better than they know
themselves at times.

There's a long uncomfortable beat... Doggett seems to be reading through a file.

DOGGETT
(uncomfortable/looking down)
Is uh... Is Agent Scully seeing anyone?

Krycek shakes his head "no".

KRYCEK
Not that I'm aware of, why?

Doggett looks up when asked that question.

DOGGETT
No reason.

KRYCEK
(sly)
You're thinkin' of asking her out...

There is a knock on the door, saves Doggett an explaination.

DOGGETT
(re: knock)
Yes.

The door opens and Spender pokes his head in.

SPENDER
(shy)
Agent Krycek, I have to ask you something.

KRYCEK
Come on in.

Spender comes in and closes the door behind him. He sits down next to Krycek, and speaks in a hushed voice. Doggett continues to work ... shuffling through messed up files laying all over his desk that were messed up while Mulder and Krycek were playing. He sits down and tries not to listen into the conversation Spender and Krycek are having.

SPENDER
Kersh just caught Bindi and I
in the photocopy room... ya know
(embarrassed) fooling around. We
have to meet with him in 30 minutes
do discuss disciplinary action. What
should we say to get out of trouble?

KRYCEK
Well point out what happened with
Scully and Skinner a few months back
that's a more serious problem.

Doggett looks up from his paperwork, he heard that comment.

DOGGETT
(overhearing)
Excuse me?

KRYCEK
Ah... it's nothing (to Spender)
ignore that last comment. Umm...
well the worst thing that could happen
is they give you "beach time", and break
your partnership, transfer you -

SPENDER
- I don't want that to happen.

DOGGETT
Just tell Kersh that you'll behave
properly and save your (coughs)
extracurricular activities for outside
the office... and be nice and respectful.
Shouldn't get more than a week suspension.

SPENDER
Are you suggesting I brown nose
the Deputy Director?

Krycek snorts back a laugh.

SPENDER
What?!

KRYCEK
(trying not to laugh)
"Brown nose"... when I hear that
expression, I see someone on their
knees, shoving their nose in someone's a-

SPENDER
(disgusted)
- Sick! Just sick, Krycek!
Krycek holds back more laughter and leans against the wall, very cool. Spender looks at him, appauled.

DOGGETT
(looking up from paperwork)
Krycek. I didn't need to know that.

SUDDENLY, Mulder bursts through the door and slams it shut, he leans back on it to keep it shut. He is in a panic!

MULDER
(out of breath, panting)
Help... me!

DOGGETT
Agent Mulder?

MULDER
Scully... Bindi!
(beat) Water...

SPENDER
What?

MULDER
Balloons!

And with that, Mulder is knocked down as the door flies open, Bindi stands above Mulder, her hands on her hips. She is wet and mad. Mulder cowers on the floor and occasionally glances at Krycek, Spender and Doggett for help.

BINDI
(yelling)
Fox! You are the rudest, most
immature idiot I've ever met! Just
because I'm wearing a white blouse
does not mean you have the right to
water balloon me while I'm walking
down the hall.

MULDER
(lying)
I thought you were Scully.

BINDI
(calm/pissed off/sarcastic)
Right. Gee. Let's think about
this for a minute (beat) Oh! I see!
In your mind, Scully has long dark
brown hair, and works in my office, right?

Spender stands up and walks over to Bindi, and places his hand on her shoulder. Doggett watches with disbelief at what is going on.

SPENDER
Bindi, let's go. You're
better than this.

As Spender leads Bindi out of the office, Bindi turns around and sticks her tongue out at Mulder, Spender turns around and mouths off "Thanks man" to Mulder, and winks.

Mulder stands up and tries to act like that never happened.

KRYCEK
You can be so stupid Mulder.

Mulder grins an evil grin.

DOGGETT
Let me get this straight. To you,
the FBI is like a playground and
neither one of you are mature enough
to actually do your job while -

MULDER
(grinning)
- That's why we are in the basement.

Doggett shakes his head at them and stands up, he leaves the room.

KRYCEK
(to Mulder)
Bindi's hot. How do you think
Spender ever hooked up with her?

MULDER
Who knows... maybe he brainwashed
her when they were at Quantico.

They laugh.

CUT TO:

INT - MULDER/KRYCEK/SCULLY'S APT. - EVENING

Mulder and Krycek are out for the evening. Scully is comfortably reading a book, sitting on the couch. Soft classical music is playing in the B.G. The phone rings, Scully picks up the cordless next to her and answers.

SCULLY
(answering)
Hello?

DOGGETT
(filtered)
Hi, it's John.

SCULLY
Is everything ok?

She looks over at the clock, it reads 4:30pm ... not late enough for Mulder and Krycek to have gotten into too much trouble.

DOGGETT
(filtered)
Everything is fine. I was just
wondering, have you ever gone to
an amusement park?

SCULLY
(delightfully confused)
Yeah... when I was little, why?

DOGGETT
(filtered)
Well, I saw in the newspaper
there's one in town, and I was
hopin' you'd like to go with me tonight.

Scully gets a cute look on her face.

SCULLY
Sure. I'd love to, John.

DOGGETT
(filtered)
How about I pick you up around
six, if that's a good time for you.

SCULLY
See you then.

She hangs up the phone and goes to get changed, old sweatpants and an old t-shirt of Mulder's isn't what she wants to be wearing in front of Doggett... not just yet at least.

TIME CUT TO:

AMUSEMENT PARK - 8:33 PM

Scully and Doggett are walking, surrounded by game booths. Scully is carrying a big white teddy bear with a red bow tied around it's neck. Trying to impress Doggett, she chose to wear rather fitting jeans and an untucked white blouse. Doggett, with the same thing on his mind, is wearing jeans and a gray t-shirt, that shows off his muscular arms well.

They both look kind of nervous together outside of the office.

DOGGETT
(breaking the silence)
When I was young, my parents would
drive me to Savannah to visit my
aunt and uncle... they'd always take
me to the Savannah Boardwalk (beat) I
never got to go to an actual amusement park
the boardwalk was the closest thing to it.

SCULLY
Really?

DOGGETT
(laughs)
As a 7 year old boy, a huge water
fountain to run through on a hot
summer day was a whole helluva lot a fun.

Scully smiles at Doggett, he smiles back. There's a beat of silence.

SCULLY
So... you've never ridden on
a rollercoaster?

DOGGETT
Not even once.

Off Scully's sly, flirtatious smile.

CUT TO:

Doggett and Scully in the front of a roller coaster. It is slowly approaching the top of the first drop. Scully looks like she's having the time of her life, on the other side of her, Doggett looks nervous.

DOGGETT
You know... w-why do
they do this so slow?

SCULLY
So you have time to think
about changing your mind...

DOGGETT
I think they succeeded.

Then the front end reaches the top and slowly, then fast proceeds to plunge to the ground. Scully let's go and throws her arms in the air. Doggett seems to become paralyzed as he screams his head off, not blinking his eyes, not even once.

Meanwhile...

CUT TO:

SOMEWHERE ELSE - AMUSEMENT PARK - 9:07pm

Mulder and Krycek are sneaking around behind the game booths, they are dressed completely in black. They are crouched down peeking through a curtain.

KRYCEK
(whispering)
So this ghost, sabotages amusement
parks because as a child, he was
forced to say "hello" to a clown?

Mulder shakes his head and cocks his gun and moves out.

KRYCEK
(re: cocking gun)
What good will that do?

He cocks his gun (you never know) and follows Mulder.

CUT TO:

EXT - ROLLERCOASTER LOADING AREA

Scully stands up, getting out of the roller coaster, she helps Doggett out of his seat, he is seemingly in shock. Scully wraps his arm over her shoulder, gets the teddy bear from an employee and leads Doggett away and to a bench close by.

DOGGETT
(sitting down)
Remind me... never to
ride one of those again.

SCULLY
(very apologetic)
I'm so sorry! I honestly thought
you were joking when you said you
had never been on one.

Doggett just kind of sits there, an odd expression on his face, his hair a mess. Scully looks at him, and smiles. She runs her hand through his hair, fixing it from it's wind-blown look.

SUDDENLY, Mulder and Krycek run by, screaming their heads off, arms flying every which way in the air. They get odd looks from Scully and Doggett.

DOGGETT
(coming out of shock state)
Was that who I think it was?

Some music in the B.G. gets louder, it's dance music!!

SCULLY
(standing up)
Come on!

She takes Doggett's hand and goes off to find where the music is coming from.

FADE OUT:

FADE IN:

Bon Jovi's "Thank You For Loving Me" is playing. It's completely dark, Krycek has his face to a floorboard, he's looking at something, a breeze moves a rather large curtain.

MULDER
Let me see.

KRYCEK
No. I got here first.

A transparent figure moves behind them.

MULDER
It. Just. Got. Really. Cold.

They get really, really scared. Krycek removes his face from the floor and he and Mulder carefully, slowly, turn around.

POV - MULDER & KRYCEK

A Scary Ghost face, that screams at them. Mulder and Krycek faint backwards, onto a dancefloor - taking the large curtain down with them. They land at the feet of Scully and Doggett, in the middle of their slow dance, they stop and look down at Mulder and Krycek, then look at each other.

TIME CUT TO:

INT - APT. HALLWAY - 11:12pm

The elevator opens and Scully and Doggett exit, their backs to us. They are dragging the passed out Mulder ad Krycek back to the apartment.

Once inside the apartment, and after putting Mulder and Krycek in their bedroom, Doggett heads toward the door.

DOGGETT
(a bit annoyed, but not really)
I should probably get going now, Dana.

SCULLY
Hey, I'm sorry about those two.
I had no idea they'd even be there.

Doggett turns to face Scully.

DOGGETT
Mind if I call you sometime?

SCULLY
(lowered voice)
Maybe we can go out where
we can be alone...

DOGGETT
(lowered voice, sexy)
Maybe...

And with that, he gives her a look any woman would die for and enters the hallway, followed by Scully, she watches him head toward the elevator.

DOGGETT
Goodnight Dana.

SCULLY
(inaudible)
Goodnight...

Scully goes back into the apartment and quietly shuts the door behind her, and leans up against it and sighs a happy sigh.

MULDER
(O.S. , pathetic)
Mommy...!

Scully rolls her eyes and goes to check up on the boys, what an ending for an almost perfect night.

THE END.

 


 

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